The Struggle

The reason of my absence

This email notification is probably not the most fitting gift to end this year. Who can have such a lack of decorum to send an email so close to the year's end? Nevertheless, it is not from work but from that long-time writer at KubeStory. 

Automatically that smile of nostalgia appears, and curiosity takes over. Why such a long absence? What can be so crucial in someone's life to cause inactivity? Where are the stories? 

This story will be different from the previous one and will impact the ones to follow. Alien in the subject and objectives, today's story is about life, work, Growth, and Struggle. It is not an apology nor a promise to change but a door to an open conscience. Hopefully, it will help some to understand that we have a lot in common in a world that turns exceptions into normality. 

What is the Struggle?

Everyone has objectives and built purposes; if one doesn't, chances are that one already knows about struggles. 

However, how can someone achieve life objectives? 

First, the person builds a plan, well-defined with targeted tasks, and orchestrates them around a timeline. Secondly, the person splits the schedule around prominent keystones that will allow checkpoints, and if necessary, they will be updated to fit the plan. What can go wrong? Life.

Life has a way of constantly intervening in a plan and ruining the meticulously constructed schedule. These interventions can take many shapes. It can be a newborn baby, a new job, or a new passion. With a broken cycle comes further questioning, a new schedule, and a new agenda.

However, people close to the impacted person must cope with these changes. The previously broken rotation will inevitably interrupt and deconstruct others' cycles as the readers of these stories have been.

The Struggle comes from realizing that we need the skills or capacity to build a new plan. As a result, the formerly organized list of operations is now in chaos.

We all have the same thought: What caused the Struggle that stopped the writer's well-prepared schedule? The answer is simple but might create interest: Knowledge.

How can Knowledge be a Struggle?

Everyone has values. They are words that carry meaning and help make decisions whenever life offers a choice. They define everyone's actions and might also evolve to their consequences. An attack on these values produces sparks and can result in conflict between individuals. 

In today's story, no fight happened, but sparks were everywhere.

The Struggle presented in today's story has one essential value as a core, and this powerful word is also the source of these writings: Growth.

Growth can be a mighty catalyzer when used positively. However, dangerous when monitored imperfectly.

Before going deep into the rabbit hole, we must introduce two truths.

The first one, also known as the Dunning-Krugger effect, tells us that the more we know, the more we realize we do not know. The second tells us that everything we believe today will eventually be shown to be wrong.

Mix the two, and we get a very explosive cocktail ready to digest.

What is happening? 

It is time to break the fourth wall and tell you my story.

One thing to know about me is that I owe a lot to my desire for Growth.

I recommend reading the following with sad music and headphones on.

First, it forced me to quit my mom's nest when I was 16. Then, it made me start a computer science school without owning a computer. Finally, I graduated valedictorian, got into an engineering school, and got my first consultant job. But I was not like any worker, as I was working with a purpose (At least I thought so!); I wanted Growth. So it forced me to work more than I was supposed to. This guided me daily in learning about technology, the cloud, and anything that could be useful to me. I was successful until I realized I was talking about things I knew nothing about. I was just a 21-year-old kid explaining to CTOs of multinationals how to transform their business with containers.

First Dunning-Krugger slap in my face

So I changed everything and became a Lead developer in a Startup. What could go wrong? I wanted to be in the field and use my acquired Knowledge to build things and learn more. But then, I realized I could not hold the truth and make decisions. I was inexperienced and very far from the verity. How can you be a leader in such a position? I was not ready.

Second Dunning-Krugger slap in my face

So I joined Google Cloud, and it was a dream come true and a significant achievement. I had the perfect job. I went there knowing I would learn a lot and acquire the Knowledge I wanted. I worked daily with customers on actual projects while having time to build understanding. Being paid to learn is one of the best things that could happen to me. I spent four years learning about Kubernetes and Containers daily. 

I reached a point where I was ready to share my Knowledge; I was prepared to share the stories. It is not only my fault. It is also because of all the people that were recognizing my Knowledge. I trained many people and helped with hundreds of projects. I was recognized as a Practice Lead in a company I have a lot of respect for. I was a specialist.

Everything collapsed when I tried to share my Knowledge a year ago. I wrote these stories, posted them on social media, live streaming on Twitch, and reached as many people as possible. I talked with hundreds of people who knew much more than I did.

And remember the second truth. I realized all the wrong things I said and held for faithful.

I deeply examined what I knew to correct my previous lack of comprehension. But, again, focusing on the fundamentals and trying to learn more every day. It pushes me to quit my job to join a company that is working on more profound concepts, to meet with people with new Knowledge, and keep being tested every day. 

I realized how much I needed to learn when I opened their slack channels.

Third Dunning-Krugger slap in my face

So why am I sharing all of this with you? 

All of these and my previous experiences are the reason I wanted to share them with the world. I wanted to offer the potential to everybody to grow. I wanted to share Knowledge.

Because this is my Struggle, why would I share Knowledge knowing the infinite amount of things I don't know? Knowing that most of it will eventually be shown to be wrong?

I spent an entire year thinking about this, trying to find solutions to a problem that sounded infinite.

I concluded a few days ago.

I am not an expert. 

I am on a journey to the truth.

Growth is this journey.

And it has no end.

So starting now, I will post more about what I am learning instead of what I know for truth. Of course, I may be wrong, or my explanation will need more depth. But that will be my journey. Sharing part of this may help many of you.

You are not alone in this.

Many of us are struggling with this and understanding that we don't know but have to be in the position of the one who knows—knowing that you may understand more than some but less than others—having to cope with the Specialist title while appreciating what you still have to discover. Most job opportunities in our field will require you to know how to do the job. It is your responsibility to continue learning new things as the world evolves. It is the reason for the high salary in tech—the required continuous improvement. 

You are not alone in this. There is no specialist, no expert. They are exceptions. They dedicated their entire life to the Knowledge of one specific thing. We are all on a journey, and Growth is the path. 

Always remember this when you learn something new. Be humble when you talk to someone. And be careful when you learn from others.

I hope you enjoyed this very personal story.

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